One Sunday about ten years ago I went with a friend to a New Age/Psychic Fair at the St Kilda town hall in Melbourne. There were plenty of people offering Tarot card readings, aura readings (complete with photographs) and the like, but the queues were long and the cost for most things was prohibitive. Rather than go home without experiencing anything 'otherwordly' we ended up having our palms read by a man who hadn't been reading for all that long. One of the few things I remember him telling me was that he could see I was angry. At the time I thought, yeah, I'm angry I wasted 20 bucks on someone who doesn't know what they're talking about. I never saw myself as an angry young man at all.
I think, however, that I have become angry - or certainly angrier - over time (who knows how far back it goes?). This is something that's taken me a while to see, mainly because I rarely expressed my anger in explosive bursts. I usually vent any frustration through healthy doses of swearing mixed with blaspheming (depending on whose company I'm in - I tend to be mindful around children and one or two Christians) and then it's over, dealt with. And every now n then I'll write a letter, sign a petition or attend a rally, but as I said, I never thought that I was particularly angry. In fact people comment on the calming influence I exude.
But in the past 6 months or so I've come to realise I do carry a hefty dose of anger within and part of it stems from stupid people, which when it all boils down to it actually means people who don't look at life the same way I do. Thankfully, one of the conclusions I've (finally) reached is that it's ridiculous for me to expect
all those fucking idiots everyone to have the same opinions as me or to look at the world the same way I do even if I think my way of looking at life is pretty easy.
About ten years ago I also came across a book written by Tom Spanbauer called
The Man Who Fell in Love with the Moon. It's one of those books I need (and want) to read again. Something Tom wrote in this amazing book has stayed with me ever since. It was about what happens "when knowledge becomes understanding". You can know this and know that, but until you actually have a degree of understanding you don't get anywhere really (I don't think you need to understand
completely, though that's probably worth aiming for) .
So the dickhead bigot on the street may know I'm a faggot, but without understanding me (or homosexuality) he just remains ignorant. And although I know he's a bigot, until I understand why he's like that (understand
him) surely I remain just as ignorant. There's a place for love and compassion and a whole host of other worthwhile things to guide us through life, but I truly believe a lack of understanding results in anger and ultimately gets us nowhere. One song that struck me as a kid was Joe South's
Walk a Mile in My Shoes, which has also been recorded by people such as Elvis Presley and more recently Cold Cut. I tried to post Joe's version of it from YouTube, but I couldn't (though I have managed to link). Instead of being angry about this I'll let you find your own way to YouTube and check out whichever version you like, if you want to. Otherwise, here are the words. I'm heading off to dance at Palms!
If I could be you
And you could be me
For just one hour
If we could find a way
To get inside
Each other's mind
If you could see you
Through my eyes
Instead of your ego
I believe you'd be
Surprised to see
That you've been blind
Walk a mile in my shoes
Walk a mile in my shoes
Before you abuse, criticise and accuse
Walk a mile in my shoes
Now your whole world
You see around you
Is just a reflection
And the law of Karma
Says you're gonna reap
Just what you sow
So unless you've
Lived a life
Of total perfection
You'd better be careful
Of every stone
That you should throw
And if we spend the day
Throwing stones
At one another
'Cause I don't think
Or wear my hair
The same way you do
Well I may be
Common people
But I'm your brother
And when you strike out
And try and hurt me
It's hurting you
(Lord have mercy)
Walk a mile in my shoes
Walk a mile in my shoes
Hey before you abuse, criticise and accuse
Walk a mile in my shoes
There are people
On reservations
And out in the ghettos
and brother there
But for the grace of God
Go you and I
And if I only
Had wings of an angel
Don't you know I'd fly
To the top of a mountain
And then I'd cry:
Walk a mile in my shoes
Walk a mile in my shoes
Hey before you abuse, criticise and accuse
Better walk a mile in my shoes
(Drop what you're doing)
Walk a mile in my shoes
Walk a mile in my shoes
Oh before you abuse, criticise and accuse
Walk a mile in my shoes
Walk a mile in my shoes
Walk a mile in my shoes
Hey before you abuse, criticise and accuse
Walk a mile in my shoes