immagine a found confirm

I'm bored by this whole silly thing now, but here's an update...

Oh goodness me dearest Essoh,
I didn't realise you wanted to come and live with me. I thought you'd just be popping in for a visit. I've prepared some scrumptious hash cookies

You say we are going to archive this great aim. But where will we archive it? I hope you're not wanting to store anything at my parents' house as I already have too many boxes here as it is and there simply isn't the room. And what if I want to spend the $$$ rather than invest it? Is this going to be a problem because if it is I need you to be up front and honest with me. Thanks ducky

Hope to hear from you sooner than you can say scam

Love Nash xx
PS Where's my photo as requested?

And then he wrote...

Dear Nash

I got your mail and i want you to understand me very well i did not say i will come and live with you in your contry i say that as soon as the found is confirm into your account i will come to meet you for sharing of the percentage and investiment that is what i said. however if realy you want to work with me and get this found confirm into your account you should open up your mind and remove any nagetive thinking or immagination in you so that we can build confidant and trust to archive this deal. as soon as i hear from you i will send you text of application which you shall fill and send to the bank as the first step of the transaction.

Thanks
Essoh

I put the Google on Essoh and (apart from my post) the only thing I found was a penpal listing from six years ago when he was 14. When I realised how young he is I kind of felt sorry for him. Then I thought, Jeez, for a youngster he's worked his way up through the bank pretty quickly. Hmmm, maybe I should work with him and get this found confirm in my account (it could do with a boost)

carculated?

I receive quite a lot of junk mail at this email address, which I normally just delete without reading. Today, however, I decided to have a read of an email from someone who trusts me. And this is what he wrote:

FROM THE DESK OF KARL ESSOH
AUDITING AND ACCOUNTING MANAGER
BANQUE ATLANTIQUE-OUAGADOUGOU
BURKINA FASO.


Trust/Confidential proposal
Dear Friend,

Please this is important and very urgent i have an urgent transaction of US$20.6 million, used to transfer to your nominated account,I am Mr Karl Essoh. The Auditor, with Accounting Department of the BANQUE ATLANTIQUE-OUAGADOUGO BURKINA FASO.

After going through some old files in the records, I discovered that if I do not remit this money out urgently it will be forfeited for nothing. The owner of this account unfortunately died in the plane crash of Union Transport Africans Flight Boeing 727 in Cotonou, Benin republic on the december 25th ,2003. You will read more stories about the crash on visiting this website www.cnn.com/2003/WORLD/africa/12/26/benin.crash/

No other person knows about this account or any thing concerning it,the account has no other beneficiary and my investigation proved to me as well that his company does not know anything about this account and the amount involved is ($USD20.6 M) Twenty million Six Hundred Thousand United States Dollars Only.

I want to transfer the ($USD 20.6 M) Twenty Million Six Hundred Thousand United States Dollars only into a safe foreigners account abroad , but I don't know any foreigner, I am only contacting you as a foreigner because this money can not be approved to a local bank here, but can only be approved to any foreign account because the money is in US dollars and the former owner of the account is a foreigner too.
I know that this message will come to you as a surprise as we don't know our selves before,but be rest assure that this is life time business for both of us even for our generation to come.

With believe in God that you will never let me down in this business.You are the only person that I have contacted in this business,so please reply urgently so that I will inform you the next step to take urgently, Send also your private telephone and fax number. I want us to meet face to face or sign a binding agreement to bind us together so that you can receive this money into a foreign account or any account of your choice where the fund will be safe.I will fly to your country for withdrawal and sharing and other investments.

I am contacting you because of the need to involve a foreigner with foreign account and foreign beneficiary.
I need your full co-operation to make this work fine because the management is ready to approve this payment to any foreigner who has correct information about this account, which I will feed you with, if you are able and with capability to handle such amount in strict confidence and trust according to my instructions and advice for our mutual benefit because this opportunity will never come again in my life.

I need truthful person in this business because I don't want to make mistake I need your strong assurance and trust. With my position now in the office I can transfer this money to any foreign reliable account, which you can provide with assurance that this money will be intact pending my physical arrival in your country for sharing.

Finally,i want to remaind you that your share has been carculated at 35% of the total sum.I'am waiting for your urgent reply so that i will give you more information about this deal.

My regards,
Karl Essoh

Now I could've had a lot more fun with this, but I just sent off a quick reply. And this is what I wrote:

Dear Mr Essoh,
Thank you so much for your email. I must say I was completely surprised to hear from you with such a generous offer, but the Lord does indeed work in mysterious ways. I have a question for you - how on earth did you find my email address as I don't make a habit of giving it out to lots of people. Regardless of how you found me, you have contacted me and I am very trustworthy and reliable. I will not tell anyone of this agreement we will be making if, as you say, it must remain confidential. I'm not particularly interested in receiving any money from you. I'm just happy to help a friend. Perhaps you could send me a picture of yourself, preferably without your clothes on. I know this may come as a surprise to you, but I was surprised by your email, so I guess this is a day of surprises! (ha ha)

I very much look forward to you flying to my cuntry. I hope your arms don't get too tired (ha ha). Please advise me what to do next and don't forget the photo.

Thank you so much

kind regards,
Nash

Now what I'd really like are some suggestions from you about my next response. To this:

Dear Nash

I received your mail, and of a truth I welcome your willingness to work with me to archive this great aim, I want you to be rest assured because this transaction is legitimate and is 100% risk Free, you should kindly take off from your mind any kind of negative imagination to enable us build confident and work together as partner in this deal.

However, I know that you are not the real next of kin or related to this family but I want you to know that nobody has ever come for this claim for past years till now and the bank has tried so many ways to reach any relatives of the late person but they could not because all of his family lost their lives in the incident.

That is reason why I contacted you to use you as the next of kin to the fund, since I have got every information that will back you up and will prove you as the real next of kin before the bank.

To take us further, you have to assure me that you will never betray me as this fund is confirmed into your account because I will feel at home living with you in your country where we will invest this money as one family’s as am trusting you in the name of Almighty that you will not let me down as I will present you to my bank as the next of kin to this fund,


As soon as I hear from you I will send an text of application in which you should fill and send to my bank as the first step on this transaction.
I look forward to hear from you soonest.

thanks
Essoh

if i had a fish ant

I took the day off today. I've been celebrating. Yesterday was Melbourne Cup Day - the day the nation apparently stops for a horse race. Giddy up.

I went to a BBQ at my cousin's place and out of everyone there I was the only one to back the winner. I got 2nd place too. So now I'm $200 richer and I wish I'd put $75 on horse #6, Efficient, instead of only $7.50. I'd probably be in Texas now if I had

fash(n)

Sometimes when I've got nothing better to do (taxes shmaxes) I play lil word games in my head. Now I'm doing it out loud...

Ash tray
bush Bash
dirty Cash
dot dot Dash
bloody Gash
Hash pipe
eye Lash
monster Mash
lazy Nash
wanna Pash
nappy Rash
winner's Sash
sufferin' succoTash
and
don't forget to Wash behind your ears...

Will you look at the time, it's November already