cobwebs

Hello? Is there anybody in here?

I thought it might be time to dust off the cobwebs and make an appearance in the blogosphere. Crikey it's been a long, long time, but it's good to know people stop by every now n then to check out whether or not I'm still kicking.

A lot has happened since my last post. Bring a bottle over sometime and we'll have a catch up. In the meantime I just wanted to let you know I'm still around and if I've got something to say I'll blog about it. As I'm feeling a bit rusty right now I've decided to post some thoughts from my friend (and sometime blog collaborator) Gypsy. We've been writing to each other for 2 1/2 years now and I'm happy to report he's doing fine - just been reclassified and is now on Minimum Custody, which means he has a lot more benefits. Check out his post and I'll be sure to pass any comments on to him...

I'll be back with a feather duster shortly

man made hell

Sometimes I sit here and wonder where I went wrong. How did I end up in this man made hell? Why? Why did I have to take the path that would lead me to wasting my life? The years seem to fly by; the wasted years of my life.

Am I the type of person who should be hidden from society? How many years of my life should be taken before I am considered reformed? I came here for a violent crime, but deep down inside I know in my heart I'm not the violent type. I've lived the last eleven years of my life with the regret of what I once did in a past life, my past life. Maybe, just maybe, that is why I go so far out of my way to stop the violence in here - to try to right the wrongs I did in my own life.

Now, in here there seem to be two types of people - those who hate me and those who love me. The ones who hate me do so because I don't know how to mind my own business, which means I don't let them prey on the weak. The others - the preyed upon - are just glad to have someone rescue them.

For eleven long years I've dwelled on my past life, my past crime. Was that really me? As I look back on that night in July '98 it really does not seem it could be eleven years that I've had to live with the regret that I let myself harm another human being. As I look at myself today it doesn't really seem possible. I won't even hurt or kill a spider (I have three of them that live in the corner of my prison cell and I feel they have as much right to be here as I do. Maybe even more).

I've suffered for the past eleven years for a crime I've always deemed self defence. But was it really self defence? Could I have defended myself without hurting the other person or am I truly like those other animals I am forced to live with who hurt a person just because they can? I would like to believe that I only did what I did to save myself. But saving myself put me here for-how-long-I-have-no-idea. And when I do get out will I be like so many others and come right back to this man made hell because I now no longer know of another way to live? Has prison changed me so much that I won't be able to adapt back to the free world? Are my fears real or are they just my mind working double time? I guess I'll never know until the day I am finally released from this man made hell

Gypsy

tutu

I'm still without the net at my new home, but fortunately I'm visiting my Mum* in Croydon tonight so I'm able to say hi to anyone who still might be reading... It just happens to be this blog's second birthday today and I couldn't let the day pass without making mention of it. I'm hoping to be back on deck very soon otherwise what's the point of having a blog? Hmmm

drift isn't the only place where there's a birthday. It's also happy milestone birthday to Miss Litzi over at the Tea Room... er Melange. Hope you had a great day Miss Litzi and I wish I could've been there to celebrate with you!

HIP HIP HOORAY!

*Dad's gone fishin' for the week

home

About 7 months ago I was on the phone to my Mum when I mentioned I was thinking of returning to Melbourne. After 7 years living in Sydney I'd reached a point where I began questioning what was keeping me there. My Mum told me she and my Dad were travelling around Australia for 4 months and if I wanted to I could house-sit for them while they were away. That's pretty much how I ended up back in Melbourne, back home...

Life was going along at a leisurely pace for a while, but that changed about a fortnight ago. I moved out of my parent's house to a share house (with one other person and a dog) in St Kilda and I got myself a job in a bookstore. I moved on the weekend of the 16th/17th and before I had time to unpack all my boxes (mostly books) I started work on the 19th. So once again life has been hectic. The same week I started work I decided to treat myself to a 6 film pass to see some Gus Van Sant films. Even less time at home to unpack. I saw the last of the 6 films - Elephant - tonight then I raced home so I could post on this once-in-4-years day. Actually I didn't race home, I came straight to my friend and neighbour's house to use his computer (and internet) while he's out seeing Margaret Cho. I haven't got the net on at home yet. No wonder I've been absent from the blogosphere

Oh, this week I also started a screenwriting course. It's all happening. I've got a new home, a new job and a new beginning. My leap of faith is paying off. And as soon as I'm back on the net you'll be hearing a lot more from me...

bullies - conclusion

It's me again - Gypsy. When I first decided to do my guest appearance on drift I had no idea I would decide to do a series. Well I guess whoever has been keeping up with this may wish to know how everything turned out in the end. So here goes...

In the end Big Mike got 15 days Solitary for the two fights. He got out of Solitary and the next day Ashly and he got back together. So once again they are a couple. I've seen Big Mike. He shook my hand and told me "thank you" for stopping him; told me that sometimes he scares himself and can't control his anger. I just looked him in the eye and I told him you don't hurt the one you love. I told him if you love that boy keep your hands off him period. All he did was look at me. We have not talked since that day nor has Ashly spoken to me. I think maybe Ashly is ashamed of the fact that he went back to Big Mike after I saved him. Who knows?

Sometimes I wonder why I can't seem to mind my own business. I mean, every time I stop a fight it seems like it doesn't do any good. Who am I to try to save the world? I'm in prison, just as they are, but it's like there are two of me and when I see somebody who does not wish to fight being made to fight I step up and say to hell with it, "He does not wish to fight you, but I will." Sometimes the fight ends there, sometimes I have to fight. And I really can't stand to fight.

Ashly went back to Big Mike and I'll never for the life of me understand why. I just hope next time he doesn't hurt Ashly as he tried before 'cause you don't hurt the one you love

Gypsy

2008

G'day everyone and welcome to 2008. Glad you could make it. In the non-cyber world I'm still writing "December" even though I should be writing "January". At least I get the year correct. Things can only get better...

I will make an effort to post a lot more this year, so you'll just have to keep watching. In the meantime, Gypsy has sent his responses to comments on his "bullies" post (I see Miss Litzi is on the ball!) and he's also written a part II

Happy New Year!

bullies II

Everybody should remember me from my last guest appearance on drift, but if not I'm known as Gypsy

Well, a few weeks ago I almost got into a lot of trouble with the prison guards for stopping a fight with a bully they call Big Mike and his boyfriend who goes by the name Ashly. Ashly got a new gay cellmate who had just been transferred to this unit. Big Mike straight off assumed that they had to be messing around so he told Ashly's new cellmate that he had to move out of the cell he shared with Ashly or he was going to beat him up. Well about 10 minutes or so later the picket boss lady told Big Mike to put his shirt on or she would write him a case (a case is what the guards write up to put us on restriction for breaking the rules and we can lose commissary privileges, recreation privileges etc). Well Big Mike flips off the picket boss lady and tells her to F off. So she tells him he now has a case for sure. So Big Mike starts yelling "You going to write me a case? You going to write me a case? Here, write this up" and he runs over to Ashly's cellmate who happens to be sitting down, knocks him to the ground and kicks at his face. Then he runs over to Ashly and yells "Here, write this up." He hits Ashly, knocks him to the ground and tries to stomp his head in.

So once again without even thinking about what I was doing I jump up, yank my shirt off and yell at Big Mike "Stop now. If you wish to still fight then fight me. Leave them both alone now or I'll deal with you myself." He stops, he looks at me crazy. He tells Ashly he loves him and is sorry. Ashly gets brave now that I am on his side. He gets in Big Mike's face yelling "F you. Fight him, fight Gypsy. He wants to fight you. Don't be scared now. You don't want to fight Gypsy cause you are a coward and he's a man. Fight Gypsy."

Well Big Mike goes into the stairway to build his courage then he yells "Gypsy, this is the second time you have gotten in my business. Let's do this." (meaning fight). So I brace myself for the fight to come. He runs up and stops again and decides not to fight me. So now the guards finally get here after taking their sweet time, see me without a shirt etc and throw me in handcuffs. In the end they find out I was the one who stopped everything. I got in no trouble - only got sent back to my cell - and I've not yet seen Big Mike again. Hopefully I don't...

dolly christmas

I'd like Dolly on top of my Christmas tree

Wishing you all a peaceful silly season and a rowdy new year

Love & Blessings
Nash xx

bullies

This is my first - and hopefully not my last - guest appearance on drift. They call me Gypsy and I am in a prison in the American state of Texas...

Sometimes I sit back and I contemplate why grown men feel like they have to be bullies and pick on weaker men who cannot fight or defend themselves. It's wrong. It doesn't matter if we're in prison or not - it still should not give grown men the right to act like children. A while back I had a gay friend who goes by the name Paloma. Well he got involved with what I like to call the "so-called straight man" (which is a person who was not gay before they came to prison yet who comes in here and starts messing with a gay man and still calls himself "straight". Yeah, right). Well this so-called straight man had a bad habit of trying to run the life of my friend Paloma and told Paloma he had no choice but to be with him - which is wrong. A person should not be able to force another person to be with him regardless if we gays are the minorities in prison or not

So as not to bore all you readers (and to make a long story short) I stepped in and made the so-called straight man leave Paloma alone - which I should not have had to do, but bullies will be bullies and most bullies truly are cowards. Now Paloma is free from the bonds of the bully even though the bully still gives us both evil looks. I just wish more people would stand up and put an end to the bullies who try to run most prisons

Gypsy