still holding the man

If you've checked my profile you'll know that I list Timothy Conigrave's memoir Holding the Man as one of my favourite books. Sadly, Tim died in 1994 with his book being posthumously published to much acclaim the following year. As well as being a popular seller, Holding the Man received the 1995 Human Rights Award for Non-fiction. I've read the book a couple of times and what I love about it is the gutwrenching love story between Conigrave (who went on to become an actor) and his partner of 15 years, John Caleo. The pair met in high school during the '70s and their story has become a watershed in Australian literature, being described recently as "our version of Romeo & Juliet." Tragically they both contracted HIV/AIDS with John dying two years before Tim.

Before I'd read the book myself (and based on reviews and word of mouth) I bought Holding the Man as a Christmas gift for a friend (my first boyfriend actually - though our days of being lovers were long gone by this stage). The day I bought it I was returning home on the tram when I saw a girl sitting opposite me reading her own copy of the book. I asked her what she thought of it, telling her I'd just bought a copy for a friend. She said she couldn't put it down. My friend's reaction was the same. I remember him telling me he blubbed his way through it to the end. That's how I reacted when I read it (each time). It's such an engrossing, moving account of first love.

Fast forward to 2000. A friend was performing in a play at the Opera House and invited me along to see the show one night. After that evening's performance we sat having drinks with a few cast members as well as an actress I'd never met before, Veronica, who was performing in another play in the Opera House's other theatre. At one stage Veronica and I got talking and I asked her who she'd gone through NIDA (National Institute of Dramatic Art) with. She mentioned the name of an actor I'm familiar with (who I'm a big fan of actually - and the object of yet another crush). Now this actor gets a decent mention in Holding the Man as one of Conigrave's fellow students, so I realised Veronica must've gone through NIDA with Tim Conigrave as well. I asked her about this and it turns out not only were they in the same year but they were also very close friends. In fact Conigrave writes about her a lot in the book. This was a great discovery to me and gave me a feeling of somehow being one step closer to... I don't know - the book, the author? Whatever it was I was pretty impressed to meet a character from arguably my favourite book. And now for some kooky twists...

Like me, Veronica was a huge fan of Number 96 when she was a kid. In fact I don't think I'm skewing the facts when I say it influenced her decision to pursue an acting career. Ditto.

A short while after meeting Veronica I met Laura, also an actress (though our meeting was not connected to the theatre at all). In conversation one day Laura told me she'd interviewed Tim Conigrave and Veronica for the Equity magazine - so here was another connection to the book and its author.

Lo and behold I'm looking through a box of my memorabilia one day when I come across the one copy I have of the Equity magazine (a memento from my time many years before as a paid up member of the Union). I flick through the old magazine and there's THE interview Laura had done with the two up and coming NIDA graduates. I was thrilled with this discovery.

In December 2001 I was out drinking with Carole (another actress who unbeknownst to me had worked a lot with Laura) when I met Scotty, my now ex-boyfriend (see Still Standing - my original post). I've written about Scotty's cousin before - an actress (see I've Heard It All Before). She is, in fact, Veronica.

We're coming to the end, I promise!

Now, more than 10 years after Holding the Man was first published, Griffin Theatre Company has recently announced plans to adapt Tim's memoir for the stage. Holding the Man will have its world premiere next month.

Being on Griffin Theatre Company's email list I often respond to give-aways, but have never been successful. An email came through earlier this afternoon offering a chance to win one of 5 double passes to see Holding the Man and I replied straight away. I was overly confident I'd win this time - and I did! I'm so grateful, I'm still over the moon. My first choice for a date was Laura because lately she's taken me to see so many great shows as her guest. Although she's the obvious choice, it wasn't until she accepted that I was reminded of her own connection to this wonderful book, soon-to-be play and author.

As far as I'm concerned it's all about the workings of the marvellous Universe. And I can't wait to see the play!