Monday, February 05, 2007

give a dog a bone

I've just been on the dog n bone for the past 2 1/2 hours to two different men. I met Matt about 20 years ago. We fell out of the closet together one drunken night at a party. I was about 20 and he was maybe 18. We became boyfriends cum best friends who shared (amongst other things & in no particular order) weirdo mind games, non-communication, magic mushrooms, mayhem and laughter. We've had periods of intense love, rivalry and friendship. We drift apart and find each other again, each time with a deeper (unspoken) understanding of what we mean to each other. Tonight was the first time we've spoken for a long time, not because of any ill feeling, but mainly because our lives have taken us to other parts of Australia. (The irony is, the name of the street Matt lives on is also my surname - makes me laugh).

We spoke for nearly 2 hours. When I got off the phone I remembered that we used to talk for that long years ago when I was in California and he was in Melbourne. Sometimes he 'd put the phone down (pre-cordless phone daze) to go and make a cup of tea or have a pee. I remember one phone bill was around $400 - and this was when Matt had a boyfriend (as someone pointed out at the time). Tonight he had a pee while we were talking (he told me). I had a joint (I didn't tell him).

Matt was the first person to break my heart. Tonight after we said goodbye I rang the second person to break my heart, Ralfie. We met nearly 11 years ago when I was 30 and he'd just turned 43. We too have had periods of intense love, passion, irritation and friendship. His beautiful dog Scruff was in the animal hospital last night, but came home today and is on the mend (some gastro yucky bug thing). We had a good old yak for half an hour or more. We talk every few daze/weeks. I told Ralfie I'm off to the Blue Mountains on Wednesday to meet with a man who's been with his boyfriend for 44 years. We marvelled at their longevity. It's rare, in my experience, to come across gay men in longterm relationships, though I find it reassuring when I do. I love the idea of growing intimately old with a partner, but I also cherish lasting friendships.

And that's what I've become aware of since getting off the blower. Then I see in front of me, as I write, a letter I got in the mail today from a friend, Rona, in Melbourne. We've known each other since Grade 2 at Primary school. It's been a couple of years since we've had contact. It means a lot to me to have loving friends in my life and the ones who have been around for a long time lift my spirits (just when I need it most) as do a few of you lovely fellow bloggers. Thanks for sticking around...


Blogger Miss Litzi said...

Hi Nash,
Alright, you haven’t lost your ability to pen beautiful, sensitive and caring posts! Nor have you drifted away from your “Coincidence Files”; Matt residing on a street with your surname. He should think of you every time he writes his address down.

I’ve recently been in contact with an old Grade/High School friend whom I’d lost contact with for over 30 years. It’s amazing to realize that she’s married with two kids and is now a Grandmother. After we’ve e-mailed or spoken on the phone, it’s like a bit of my past has blended in with the present and makes me feel more connected to the world, for some strange reason. Like you said, it means a lot to have friends in one’s life who’ve been around for a long (in my case, really long) time. It’s a reaffirmation that although we’ve changed, there’s still a part of us that’s remained the same.

Are the Blue Mountains near where you live? I too find it amazing that your friend has been in a relationship for 44 years. I recently read that the divorce rate in the US is dropping but it’s still quite high. Perhaps that’s why friends and family make a big production over 50 year wedding anniversaries.

This is a wonderful post. I hope you have a great time on your trip!!

February 06, 2007 2:50 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Nash,
Even if I didnt know who you were talking about I love reading stuff like this. For some reason 'weirdo mind games' sticks out and makes me laugh - because sometimes when youre that close to someone thats what you do - stuff that you cant quite believe but somehow made sense at the time.

I remember hearing on some radio station talking about things people get up to when theyre on the phone - some sort of receptionist/phone worker chatted about her experiences - some of the noises and goings on left a permanent scar on her life. Maybe you and Matt should think about that the next time youre on the phone....

Glad to see youre back, Sheila

February 06, 2007 8:53 AM  
Blogger nash said...

Thanks Miss Litzi,
I understand what you mean about the past n present blending and feeling connected to the world. It's wonderful. It's what you get when you've been round a while...

The Blue Mountains are about a 2 hour train trip from my home, heading west. You can do a google image search and probably find the Three Sisters, if you're inclined!

Dear Sheila,
Did you know that I worked as a "switch bitch" once upon a time? "Good morning, National Mutual. Can I help you?" *feels queasy* (Tho it was short, sweet n fun)

Thanks for your responses

February 06, 2007 9:49 PM  
Blogger Miss Litzi said...

Hi Nash,
What a delightful way to say someone’s older than dirt-“when you’ve been around a while”; it’s so genteel sounding. It is nice to be able to incorporate “old” friends and acquaintances into ones present day life and resume the relationship after many years.

I keep forgetting (duh! on me) to do a Google Search and discover where places are on the globe. Do you go to The Blue Mountains often? Is it a favorite or “in” spot to vacation in Australia? Have a marvelous time!!

February 07, 2007 3:38 AM  

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